Sorrow With The Sweet

You know how as you mark all that needs to be noted on your calendar, there are those dates that you probably would remember, but still want to “officially note." You know, the birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc., etc… and then there are those dates that you know you will always remember, whether you want to or not, and so you don’t exactly need to put them in writing.

Today is one of those dates… every year, as February comes and goes, in between Tessa’s birthday and Valentines Day, with all the sweetness, is a bit of sorrow.

February 11, 1996. My sweet and much beloved friend, (my high school BFF, partner in crime, runnin buddy, the Louise to my Thelma) Tisha, was killed.

She was murdered during a robbery where she worked. And like so many things that go on in the world which are beyond our understanding… it was completely senseless and tragic. She was only 20, and while I don’t think I knew it as much at the time, I’ve learned over the years just how young that was.

The day of her funeral a youth pastor from a church in Maumelle gave Tisha’s uncle a letter. In junior high, Tisha used to attend that church’s community youth events, and he had known her well back then. He wrote in the letter things he remembered about her, stuff she had done with their church, and that he had known Tisha to have given her heart to Christ. He wrote to her family (who he didn’t know) that while he could not begin to explain or understand this tragedy, that he “believed with all his heart,” and knew that “this day” she was at peace, “in the arms of Jesus.”

Whoever that pastor was... God bless him.

We were living in Illinois when she died, and driving home from her funeral the next day, this song was playing… and it has reminded me of her ever since.

It felt like springtime on this February morning
In the courtyard birds were singing your praise
I'm still recalling things you said to make me feel alright
I carried them with me today

Now as I lay me down to sleep
This I pray, that you will hold me dear
Though I'm far away, I'll whisper your name into the sky
And I will wake up happy

I wonder why I feel so high
Though I am not above the sorrow
Heavy hearted, till you call my name
And it sounds like church bells, or the whistle of a train
On a summer evening, I'll run to meet you
Barefoot barely breathing

It's not too near for me
Like a flower I need the rain
Though it's not clear to me
Every season has its change
And I will see you when the sun comes out again